31 Hilarious Things Only Married People Would Understand
By Abby Heugel
One of the most important things about marriage is to have a sense of humor through better or worse, in sickness and in health, as long as you both shall tweet.
And for these hilarious husbands, they seem to have gotten the memo.
Select-a-SIze
And that using five paper towels to wipe out a Ziploc bag probably isn’t that smart.
Recycling is hard.
Exactly.
Finding that perfect ratio is hard.
So even though he loves you, he made EXACTLY the amount.
You’re on your own.
Maturity is overrated.
It is kind of hard to talk with all that candy in your mouth.
That’s certainly a thought to chew on…
Honey-do lists.
*Sees wife putting away folded laundry*
So, do you need help folding laundry?
Tinkle, tinkle.
And sometimes you breathe too loud.
It really depends on the day, but we still love you — when you’re quiet.
It’s getting hot in here.
The final result?
About 72 degrees when he’s home.
When he’s gone?
All bets are off — and the heat is on.
Wise words.
And if she’s in line at the store with a cart of wine and chocolate?
Always let her go first.
I don’t know.
Did you hear something?
Putting words in your mouth.
It’s really two-way communication.
She says something and you communicate by a series of nods and smiles.
Double trouble.
Maybe she wanted the top bunk instead?
Either way, that’s probably a pretty effective birth control method.
Sweetheart spam.
“But I…”
“I said UNSUBSCRIBE!”
What a chore!
No matter where you go, no matter what you do…
She will find you and put you to work.
Brace yourself.
It’s horrible, actually.
Can’t go to the store, can’t do laundry.
Simply tragic.
Cut and dry.
Everyone knows you don’t use the decorative towels.
That’s why they’re called decorative towels.
You better shop around.
Well…?
Do we?
The answer is always “yes.” You always need something from the store.
Man’s best friend.
After all, every dog needs a good wardrobe.
How is that stupid stuff?
Sorry. I tried.
And what is this “pan” that you speak of?
I think we should just order in…
The things you learn…
It always goes on the top shelf to the right.
Everyone knows that, dude.
Carved in stone.
Thou shall not put the milk away wrong
Thou shall not load the dishwasher any way other than the way you are asked.
Clip and save.
But who doesn’t want to save 35 cents on dish soap?
Bill.
Bill doesn’t want to save 35 cents on dish soap.
Early returns.
Yeah, maybe don’t go through her closet without her permission.
At least your heart was in the right place, even if the donation wasn’t.
